Why Alcohol Gets Better With Age

Cheers!

People often talk about how good alcohol gets better with age, as if the booze is separated from the chaff by its ability to sit around in some dark, temperate place and not turn. I would be tempted to doubt this, but the fact that it’s also true when it comes to the consumption, that the older we get the better drinking gets, makes me a believer.

Sure the occasional libation is drastically improved as you get older because of a tendency to not power-chug it during a game called power-chug where by the winner is decided based on who chugs the most while standing on power lines yelling out movies starring Powers Boothe. Just kicking back with a few and some conversation is actually a lot of fun, and it comes with way fewer regrets. But when the former souse inside causes us to slip back into the foggy heads of yesteryears, succumbing to the siren songs of a shot-carrying waitress or the cheap promise of cheap thrills given by cheap beer, it’s still way better.

The hangovers may last three to nine times as long, the drunk dials are no longer answered, the dancing more of a clothesline sway and the fear of drunk tweeting ever-present, but a night with a few too many is still the best it’s ever been. Why, do you ask? Because as you get older, with each step away from the person you always tried to be, whether it was a carefully crafted character or just an unsure kid, you get a little closer to the unplanned one you’ve become.

The toasts aren’t dirty limericks, they’re about a friend finding out he’s going to be a father, the one-upmanship is more about one-liners and less about feats of extreme extremeness, there’s no social anxiety because there’s no pressing need to be social, the magical beer you buy a girl that will make her fall in love turns into an off-brand cocktail bought for you by a divorcee with awkwardly angular eyebrows and the stories you end up with are understated memories you’re glad to have instead of proof of awesome chapters you made yourself write.

Just like alcohol, life really is better when its a little more pure.

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