There is No Plan B

When I was a kid I looked forward to my day’s off school, sick days, in-service days, fake-sick days, etc. for one reason and one reason alone. The daily one o’clock A-Team re-run. I assumed these were re-runs, but in hindsight the network very well may have known that sick kids and housewives were the primary target for the A-Team’s specific brand of build-awesome-shit-blow-up-stuff-hurt-no-one brand of tongue in cheek justice.

I’ve always expected that one day they would re-boot the A-Team with a big budget blockbuster movie. I also expected that by that time, I would be able to play the new member, a master of disguise and witty Hannibal side-kick codenamed “Types” who uses his mastery of words to write the team out of all kinds of trouble. Trapped by Contra’s in Central America? Types would write a short story on the spot that would befuddle the enemy with its surprise ending and dense allusions long enough for BA Baracus to hip-toss a half-dozen captors through some rickety crates, which would in turn cause a distraction that afforded Hawkeye the time he needed to hotwire a helicopter while Face and Hannibal did some other cool stuff like smoked cigars and made out with women.

That’s why, as excited as I am by this trailer because of its obvious and blatant amazing brilliance, I’m a little disappointed too*:

*Please note at the end of the trailer is one of the best movie taglines of all time. Please also note that near the end of the trailer director Joe Carnahan out-Michael Bay’s the bullshit out of Michael Bay when the A-Team’s plane gets shot down and somehow they are all alive inside a tank and then Bradley Cooper shoots down a fighter jet with the tanks machine gun as they fall through the sky.

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