My Pre-Trip To-Do List

Because I’m a poor planner, I tend to forget important things every time I go anywhere. If I bring a phone I forget the charger, if I bring a pet ferret I forget the little ferret puffy vest that keeps him warm, you get the idea. That’s why I decided this morning to make a list of what to do/pack before I go. It’s necessary on any trip I take but doubly so on one that is planned in less than 48 hours and involves going to a place I’ve never really been.

  1. Pack clothing (remember howl-at-moon t-shirt, mustache-wings t-shirt and keyboard cat t-shirt in particular)
  2. Bring camera and batteries
  3. Rent car
  4. Wax mustache
  5. Start a journal where I write to the journal as though the journal is a sentient being/character. Be sure to write interesting self-directed questions in the margins.
  6. Make sure people I’m imposing on understand the impending imposition and the fact that I’ve set this course of events into motion and am powerless against the Universes own momentum as it pushes me, from this point, forward.
  7. Pack stylophone portable electronic beats machine for the making of dope-ass beats so I can record my own Miami-based rap song while in Miami.
  8. Write no less than five interesting and loosely factual anecdotes related to my mustache for random conversations with strangers.
  9. Think of a good bar entry song for Miami and figure out a way to enter a bar to it
  10. Create a list of celebrities to try and see to cover the fact that there’s only one celebrity I want to see.
  11. Bring Will Smith’s Miami and a boombox in case any parties need rescuing.
  12. Make up viable story for what I “do” for a living.
  13. Bring video camera to record reactions when I tell people I’m an unemployed writer after I forget viable made-up “what I do” story
  14. Print hilarious fake business cards (or hand-write them on previous actual business cards if lacking time)
  15. Write marginally funny post of to-do list
  16. Do some research on Miami.

As per the last item on the list, I searched Miami in YouTube hoping to find some kind of informative documentary, which I did:

I realized after this documentary about South Florida that I need to bring an English/German dictionary and rent a sports car and probably find a guy who sells guns. Other than that I think I’m ready to go. My next post will be from the road. Wish me luck.


2 responses to “My Pre-Trip To-Do List

  1. Do you actually have a ticket to the game?

    • I don’t, but I do have an elaborate and ill-conceived plan to get one. Unless of course you have an extra that you’d like to trade for a Top Gun style high-five.

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